10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years

10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years // The Wellness Doer

I just recently celebrated 32 years. Yep… I’m not scared to share my age to the world. I’m proud of it. Last week I was having a conversation with a girl at the cafe in the gym. It came up that she was only 22… I thought to myself… “wow, I’ve got 10 years on her and yet I feel like I’m still 22!” So it got me thinking about what I’ve done with my life in the last 10 years and broke it down to 10 lessons that I have learned and I’m gonna share them with you folks.

Lesson 1: You can make money by doing what you love.

In the beginning of 2002 I was in school for graphic design and working as a shift manager at a juice/coffee shop (ya… I was big time), I loved art and thought that that was my career path of choice. The universe had a different plan. I was working out at 24 hour fitness and getting some interesting results from my body. I talked to a personal trainer and a whole new world of wonderment opened up. “How did this woman know so much about MY body, and be right!?” I was hooked. I looked into personal training and by that summer I had started my career as a trainer. 10 years later I’m still going strong. Sometimes it takes people their whole lives to discover what it is they enjoy doing. I loved health and fitness – it was perfect. I was lucky in discovering that I can get paid and have fun early in life and I am forever grateful.

Lesson 2: That being independent isn’t so hard.

Mid 2003 I met a guy and feel in love (or so I thought) and who I eventually moved out with. That was the first time on my own. I was nervous and scared and had all the voices of older adults telling me that “it’s so hard”. Bull-honkey. It wasn’t, at least for me. I loved it. I feel right into responsibility’s lap and snuggled right in. I was efficient at paying bills, grocery store shopping and even keeping things tidy. I was your modern day housewife at the age of 23. Life was grand, until the next lesson had to be learned.

Lesson 3: That having expectations can go way wrong.

When I look back at these next few years of my life I don’t blame myself, nor do I blame the others in my life at the time. All that happened needed to.
After two years of being all lovey-dovey I learned that sometimes what we expect to happen doesn’t happen the way we envision. My life came crumbling down. In that time I made up beliefs about myself, men, life, everything that would take me years to realize were just “made up”. Even though the universe had slapped me in the face with this lesson of letting go of expectations, I still didn’t get it. I continued down a path of being hurt.

Lesson 4: Sometimes we must experience hurt to feel joy.

At this time I didn’t realize this lessons until years later. If I had not experienced being hurt then I would not know now what I value in a relationship and in life. Looking back know it is so apparent that I never want to live my life like the way I was living it in the years of 2004-2007. So ya… sometimes things suck, but we would never know greatness without those sucky times. Now I am so grateful for that man that I spent those years with. He taught me a great deal about myself. If you are going through sour times, know that sweetness comes… I’m living proof. (And just for the record, nothing super crazy went on during those times, I was young and naive, and got off easy in comparison of other sour relationship stories that I have heard).

Lesson 5: In the end, our hearts will always have the last say.

We have forgotten how to live from our hearts. We over think things and get ourselves into trouble, but in the end the heart will have the last say.
It seemed like it happened over night. I went to bed thinking one thing and woke up thinking another. I was over it. I left him, moved out and started a new path. My mind was tired and my heart took over, it was done being sad and my mind didn’t have a say. It was the best thing I had done in my life up the that point. After that turning point in my life I had learned to trust my heart, that o-so special intuition. My life was never going to be the same… it was about to take a turn that I would have never expected.

Lesson 6: That relationships can be work but shouldn’t be hard.

I met my next boyfriend in 2008 and instantly knew that being treating like a queen was possible. That relationships are not meant to be hard, yes they do require a little work, but don’t need to be hard. This was also the year I traveled to Thailand and moved to San Diego. Three huge experiences for me. Little did I know that getting a taste of traveling ignited a flame in me that would grow to a raging flame. San Diego welcomed me with open arms and life was beautiful, but I was still struggling with all of those “made-up” beliefs about myself… in come lesson number 7.

Lesson 7: That I am enough.

On July 1st of 2008 I was hired onto the staff at The Sporting Club in La Jolla California. Let me explain something about this club. When I was looking for jobs in San Diego the Sporting Club’s website was the first to pop up. I took one look at their training staff and thought “no way am I good enough or qualified enough to work there”. I quickly dismissed the thought of working there and looked at other places. Again… the universe had other plans. My path ultimately lead me to the Sorting Club and there I found myself face to face with the thought “your not good enough”. But someone thought otherwise and I was hired. Little does that person know they restored my faith in myself. It was still going to take some work on my part but it was the start of a beautiful, spiritual awakening for me. 4 years later I’m now their top female trainer… go figure. 🙂

Lesson 8: That ANYTHING is possible.

Oh man this year… this year was a whirlwind for me. The guy I had been dating when I move to San Diego went his own way and I went mine. It was a beautiful break-up – no harm done. Also in this year I started dating someone new and when him and I broke up 10 months later it broke my heart. But there was a conversation with him at one point on the phone that flipped a switch in my brain. All of a sudden – ANYTHING WAS POSSIBLE. I had no attachments. I could do and go where ever I wanted. So I put out the intention to travel and the universe delivered. All to often we tell ourselves that we can’t do this or we can’t do that, but it’s all in how we look at it and it is all so possible. Also in this year I found the value in being single. Which I guess I can count as a lesson because I grew so much in the next two years…

Lesson 9: Traveling can be done on a budget.

With that intention out there, traveling opportunities came to me so fast it seemed as if I was always on the go. It started with two weeks in San Francisco then four weeks in Oregon. Then at the end of 2010 I had met my British friend and we took a two week road trip up the coast of California. After he left I spent a week working at a music festival, then another quick trip to SF, three weeks in Europe, and then two weeks in Bali. I was gone more than I was here to work and I wasn’t making any money if I wasn’t working. Everyone would say “how can you afford to travel” but to me the dream to travel far out reached the how I was going to do it. I made it work. I can’t exactly pinpoint what I did to make it work other than believe in it but I do know I made it happen… and on a budget. Thanks to some awesome people in my life that contributed to those possibilities I did and saw things that I had never imagined.

Lesson 10: True love comes when you finally let go.

After two years of not doing any serious dating I was finally ready to be in a relationship… a seriously fun one. I remember the day exactly. I was driving to work and was letting the universe know what my perfect man looked like. I was very detailed and specific in my description. Little did I know that that man already existed in my life. He was a “pin-pal” sort-of-speak. We had not met, nor did we think we were ever going to. But the universe has it’s beautiful ways of giving us the things we want. In October Jonathan and I met (in person) and the rest is history. We joke and say “I created you”  but I’m serious… he is to the T of what I described as my “perfect man”. It didn’t come until I let go of that “wanting” to be in a relationship. I surrendered to and was fine with how things were at the time. I again, put my intention out there, and with that the universe/myself brought Jonathan into my life.

So there you have it. 10 lessons learned. When I look back on all of it I can see how beautiful it all is. Everything I experienced had to happen so I could be where I’m at now. So what is your lesson to learn here? Br grateful. Appreciate the world around you and what you have been handed. Shitty or great it’s all meant to teach us and encourage us to grow. We are strong as equally as we are fragile. We can love as equally as we can hate. We can tell the truth as equally as we can lie. We can laugh as equally as we can cry. It’s all there within us… every possibility… so create love, choose happiness and be grateful.

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