Attachment vs Commitment
I was out to lunch the other day with some amazing friends of mine and we were having a discussion on what it means to be attached to something vs being committed to something. I realized that I say this a lot to my clients as well, especially when talking about goals. If my clients, or myself, or maybe even you find that you are not achieving your goals it could be that you are attached to them rather than being committed… or you could just be lazy and if that’s the case I don’t know what to say.
To me being committed means being devoted, faithful, dedicated, and loyal. To be attached would be to be emotionally involved.
When my clients are committed to their goals, they are dedicated and faithful to an end result. When I see that someone is attached, they are emotionally involved with the outcome, and if that outcome is not what they wanted… they become upset. We all do this.
Say you set a goal, if you know in your heart that you are doing what you said you would do in order to attain the goal (basically keeping your word with yourself), and the process starts to look differently from what you thought may happen, you need to let it evolve. That is being committed to your goal… not attached to the end result.
This is something to think about – being committed to the goal is being committed to what you will have when you reach the goal (happiness, health, more energy, etc.) and how you get there isn’t really important. It’s a dead giveaway that you are attached to something when you are experiencing being upset or angry that that something isn’t happening the way you thought it should. Maybe you are irritated with someone else who isn’t doing what you want them to do, or upset that the process is not looking the way you want it to look. Anytime you are sensing being upset, irritated, and/or angry, is signals that you are being attached.
Being committed on the other hand gives you freedom. Freedom to be open to what arises. You experience being calm, happy, peaceful, and confidant. Commitment ignites action. If something arises that is not planned or expected, someone who is commitment will not freak out and get angry, they will take the necessary action they need to to stay committed to their goals.
I found this quote and I’m not sure who said it but it’s great: “Possibly the best description of commitment is “persistence with a purpose”.”
Attachment vs Commitment comes up in every area of our lives. Look at your day, what did you get angry over? Who did you get upset at? Were you attached to an outcome in those situations? Attachment is destructive. If commitment was present it wouldn’t of mattered what arose.
Be open and compassionate, with yourself and others. Allowing life to do it’s thing without getting upset over it is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Be Love.