One Life, Two Perspectives
My life sucks. I’m broke, I hate my commute to work, I’m too tired to workout and I never have time to do anything I want to do. I got kicked out of my place in Ocean Beach a few months ago and now have to find another place to live but the problem is that everything is too expensive and landlords have stupid rules about dogs. Now I have to live at my manfriend’s mom’s house in San Clemente. It’s great and all but I have to drive 45-60 minutes to work everyday. It sucks gas out of my car and I have to deal with stupid drivers all of the time.
Work is ok. I have to deal with whiny people who think they need to lose weight. I have a random schedule and it’s all over the place, so I never have time to do anything I want to do. Most of my money goes to bills, leaving me with very little to buy groceries. San Diego is so expensive that money doesn’t go very far. I work long hours and I’m always tired, and because I have such little time for myself, I never get to workout… so I’m always feeling yucky.
I try to sit here and write blog posts but I’m not a very good writer. I don’t think anybody really likes my blog anyway. I try to draw but I’m not a very good artist. I try to cook, but I suck at cooking. I suck at math. I suck at managing money. I’m not very good at much.
I have a few friends but they are all too busy to hangout with me. My family is crazy and my manfriend, I don’t even want to get into it. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I feel like life is out to get me. Why me? Why is this happening to me?
My life is amazing. The house I was living in in Ocean Beach needed some love, and the owners needed to remodel. Plus, the lease was up, so we moved out. I haven’t found a new place to live in San Diego because I haven’t found the right place. I trust that when the time is right the perfect place will be available. Right now I get to stay at my man friend’s mom’s house in San Clemente. I don’t have to pay rent and I get to see the ocean everyday when I wake up. The commute isn’t that bad. It’s a straight shot down the 5 freeway and I get ocean view most of the way, plus I get to jam out to my music. I’m grateful to have a car that runs well and a job that allows me to pay for gas.
I have the best job ever. I get to change people’s lives everyday. I have the most amazing clients, who constantly inspire me everyday. I get to make my own schedule and choose when I want to work. It’s great because I can make time to sleep in, have lunch and do the things that I need to do during the day. I get paid well, and I can take time off to go on fun adventures. I do get tired but it’s rewarding. I create the energy to workout and I always feel better afterwards.
I have this blog which allows me to express myself. It’s a great avenue for creative expression for me. I know that people love what I write based on what they have told me, so I keep doing it because if it helps just one person feel better about themselves, and their life, then it makes it all worth it. I love drawing, and am always filled with creative ideas. Drawing is like a meditation for me, leaving me feeling relaxed. I love to cook, it’s not anything fancy but it tastes good and is healthy. I am good at things that are important to me, and I can do anything that I put my mind to. I know that I am capable of accomplishing anything I attempt to do.
I have the most amazing friends. Friends who are up to amazing things. Friends who make the world a better place. Friends who reflect back to me the amazingness that is within us all. My friends, family, clients and manfriend are constant lights in my life. They all inspire, motivate and encourage me to be my best. Plus they make me laugh. My manfriend continuously supports my creative endeavors, picks me up when I’m down and is an infinite source of love and laughter.
I feel so blessed to be here in this lifetime. I know that I am responsible for my reality. Everything that I experience and how I experience it is my choice. I am grateful.
Both perspectives are descriptions of my life, but I choose to see it in one way or another. I choose to live my life in perspective two.
A side note on perspective one… it was very hard for me to write that. I had to force myself to look at my life in a negative way. I have done the work (and continue to do so), so that my mind automatically sees the positive. Writing perspective one didn’t feel good. Writing perspective two felt light and warming.
You have one life. You choose how to live it.