Travel

Road Trip Day 10: Saying Goodbye

April-30-2011

Time of departure from Eugene: 11:52am. Time of avail in San Francisco: 8:59pm. 9 hours of driving… and driving… and driving, but it gave me a lot of time to think. That’s what are minds like to do right, think, maybe even unconsciously… but today I was quite conscious of my thoughts.

We broke up the team this morning when Jonny and I spilt to go our separate ways. He’s headed to Canada and I have to get to go back to San Diego. It was a quick goodbye because if we had had anymore time we would of looked like a couple babies crying at the bus station. It’s funny to me the emotions we, as in humans, experience when we leave somebody or somebody leaves us. And why is it harder to leave some people and not others? My answer… connection. We connect and have an opportunity to connect with people hundreds of times each day. The mailman, the guy who sells you your coffee, door man, front desk girl, so on and so on… in those small moments you are given a chance to make someone’s day… or ruin it… or have no effect at all. Now, for me I never want to ruin someone’s day but I also just don’t want to settle for not having any effect. A simple hello and a smile is sometimes all people need.

Sometimes we forget though, we forget that who we are being and how we are acting is effecting someone. Whether it be someone you are only interacting with for a few moments or someone you have known for a long time – every second you spend with that person is a second you have a chance to be love, to be someone who is loving. I forget my own words of advice sometimes and let my ego and attachments get the best of me. During this trip I had a few incidents where I caught myself being a total bitch – I also was totally attached to something going a certain way. So that’s easy for me, it’s easy for me to notice when I’m attached and then let it go… but what about our connections and/or attachments to other human beings?

In my 9 hours of driving I thought a lot about this topic. I thought back to past boyfriends and best friends. I wondered why I don’t cry when I leave my parents and why sometimes I don’t care at all if I see someone again or not. I definitely don’t like the word attachment to be used when taking about a relationship between people. But what about the word connection? Connection between people can be so powerful. And it’s something that never leaves, or disappears with time. What you share with someone in that second of time that can not be repeated ever again. For example – let’s use the simple act of shaking hands. You can shake hands with 10 different people, but each interaction would be different and would be special in it’s own way. Now… let’s take it a little deeper… with each of those 10 people you shake hands with you may or may not have a connection but you will have an effect. So when you do have a connection with someone, honor it and that person – because that connection between the two of you can not be repeated. Even if it’s your best friend or sister (not just talking significant other here) – every connect is inviolable. And if you are not going to be around that person that connection is still shared, no matter where the person is. So what is all this rambling about? For me it’s processing the thoughts I have about relationships and connection and having to say goodbye to someone today which whom I deeply care for.

So what to do about those sad goodbyes?

Well depends on the situation I guess. For me it was a shift in what I was focusing my attention on. If I focus on the time spent and what we had rather than what we wont have my mood wasn’t so down. And it’s ok to be sad. I recognized that sadness is in me and allowed myself to be with it. I’ll say this though… If you want to get closer to someone and see if you guys can get along, travel with that person. Actually my advice from now on to people who are engaged is going to be to travel with the person first – before they marry – you never know… ya know?

See what 9 hours of driving can do to a mind…

Anyways… sorry about the rambles… I did say this blog was a step into my mind. I head back to SD tomorrow and will back on it with Simple Pleasures, health tips, and juicy motivational goodness… much love…

The road trip team…